I found this photo at the Copenhagen Daily Photo Blog. The little guy is wearing a pink tank top that in Danish reads "BØLLER KAN OGSÅ VÆRE BØSSER (BULLIES CAN BE GAY TOO)." The artwork is by Danish artist HuskMitNavn.
Have you ever been bullied by a gay person? I certainly have come across gay men who seem to want to cause harm, verbally, physically, or through more subtle methods like manipulation. You know, those gay guys who are filled with negativity about the world and always seem to have a catty comment to make about other gay people. You know, those guys who need to make you small so that they feel tall. Sometimes these men aren't even aware of the fact that they are being bullies. Sad, but true. There are bullies in our community, so don't give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid him, stand tall, be brave, and feel good about you, because the bullying really isn't about you. It's about the bully.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Bullies can be gay too!
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6 comments:
dude, i totally agree with you on this, and think that's a great shirt.
from my own experiences as a (queer) bully, i also think that we need to think about the role that homophobia/racism/sexism/ableism/classism play in the creation of bullies. you wrote that bullies have a need to build themselves up by taking other people down; often, this is in reaction to the oppressive hierarchies that they themselves are facing.
it's hard work, to practice compassionate understanding and actively address these issues, and i'm not saying that we all need to do it: like you wrote, avoiding bullies is necessary for self-protection! but if we all avoid them all of the time, they simply become even further isolated and potentially menacing. a commitment to addressing these problems could go a long way in the prevention of bullying, especially in the queer communities.
great post; thanks for making me think.
While I read the post, I wondered: Why is the title "Bullies can be gay too" and not "Gays can be bullies too"??
I think the two are nuanced and not the same thing, and if addressing the issue we must, then may be these subtle differences we need to understand first?
I am shocked that we have gay people who want to harm others for the sake of it. Why are they like this?
Its enough drama having straight haters but one of us? And he being more vulgar, violent and more abusive? I can scarsely believe it.
There's is need for behavior change.
whoa, kama's comment has got me thinking, cuz it *is* an odd phrasing, and now i'm wondering about the meaning of the message.
at first, i took it the same way you seem to have done, gay person of color: as a call to address the problem of bullies in queer communities.
but now i'm re-reading it as a reactionary response to vocal queer struggles: "Bullies can be gay too" sounds like the kind of thing that you'd hear from the xtian right when they're describing queer protests such as the one that followed the prop 8 vote. you know what i mean? the phrase sounds like it's saying that gay people aren't all that rad or something. hmmmmm... interesting.
Oh, how strange. From my perspective I possibly read the phrases like this:
"Bullies can be gay too"-- Sounds like "It's not because we are bullies that we can't be gay!" Then replace bullies by whatever you want: "Married people can be gay too!" "People with disabilities can be gay too" etc. etc. I see in such an expression an emancipatory move in legitimizing the fact that bullies and all those things that don't seem "gay" can be gay too.
"Gays can be bullies too"-- Seems to have more to do with negative connotations I suppose. Gays can be nice, charming, sensitive blah blah blah, but they can also be bullies, racist and the list goes on.
Does that make any sense at all?
totally... maybe it's a blanket call for more intersectionality everywhere, in every way!
i <3 intersectionality.
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